


loser gc

by drlecters



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Gen, Group Chat Fic, MIKE GETS THE LOVE HE DESERVES, aged up id say probably senior year here, bev is that one friend that repeats something embarrassing u say in all caps, established relationship via reddie, modern day b/c modern day references, title is a work in progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-21 06:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12451687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drlecters/pseuds/drlecters
Summary: eddie: richie is afraid of the kool-aid manrichie: EDDIE THAT WAS A SECRET





	1. fanny pack restriction

Losers™

[Monday 11:56 p.m.]

**eddie:** whatever u guys do, don’t listen to richie…

**bev:** that doesn’t sound suspicious at all

**richie:** it’s because

**ben:** don’t just leave us on a cliffhanger

**mike:** he’s still typing, im scared

**stan:** Did he die?

**stan:** God, I hope.

**bill:** STAN

**richie:** u remember how we were making fun of eddie for having two fanny packs?

**stan:** You mean, you were.

**richie:** ANYWAYS,

**richie:** turns out he’s not supposed to have it

**mike:** that’s so ominous what does that mean

**bill:** oh my god eddie why what was in it

**eddie:** MY BIFOCALS LEAVE ME ALONE

**bev:** his biofocljsldkfkldf

**ben:** im confused

**stan:** Me too.

**richie:** there was nothing bad in it

**richie:** he just literally has a fanny pack restriction

**bev:** WHAT JKDFHG

**eddie:** guys… do not…

**stan:** A… fanny pack restriction.

**richie:** yes

**mike:** guys, don’t make fun of him

**bev:** no, be quiet mike I wanna see where this goes

**eddie:** stop it’s not going anywhere my mom is just nuts

**richie:** i can tell you what else your mom is

**eddie:** i can murder you with nothing but my bare hands nd pure rage

**eddie:** friendship with richie = cancelled

**eddie:** bill is my new best friend

**richie:** but… eddie spaghetti…

**eddie:** ur not helping ur case bitch

**bill:** yeah shut up richie im his new best friend

**bill:** im tearin up a little

**eddie:** a good reason to never go back to being friends with r*chie

**richie:** no please

**richie:** i can cry for you

**richie:** ill come over to ur house and start crying Right Fucking Now

**eddie:** im grounded u dolt

**ben:** WAIT omg for the fanny pack thing?

**eddie:** NO BEN

**eddie:** richie actually got me grounded but thats a whole other thing 

**richie:** ur mom would let me in

**richie:** she does every other night of the week

**eddie:** Die

**richie:** this is the second time someone has said something about me dying in this chat today

**bill:** this isn’t fair that i get ur friendship at a time when i can’t treasure it

**eddie:** when we hang out we can send pictures of all the fun that he’s not included in to richie

**bev:** that’s actually evil

**mike:** for such a tiny person you are so mean

Losers™

[Wednesday 12:11 p.m.]

**mike:** i saw the word bicameral in history today and it was right under james madisons’ name and i thought it said bisexual for a hot minute there and was wondering why we were learning about his sexuality on a handout about the constitution

**stan:** You thought that because you’re tired because you people never go to bed.

**ben:** an unexpected lgbt icon

**bev:** i am going to be honest with you all, i have no clue who he really is

**bev:** like yeah, he was president, but

**bill:** that, and he was bisexual

**stan:** I thought it was Abraham Lincoln that was bisexual?

**mike:** where the hell did you hear that

**stan:** His personal memos.

**mike:** stan reads abe lincoln’s personal memos??? for some reason???

**stan:** They’re private documents unfortunately, but I imagine things get steamy.

**bev:** STAN HDJFHDJF

**richie:** tru, abe was probably a freak

**mike:** i started this conversation out so innocently

Losers™

[Friday 11:34 a.m.]

**eddie:** im ungrounded now

**eddie:** best friendship with bill, commenced

**bill:** WHAT SHOULD WE DO FIRST

**bev:** my god you are so excited about this

**bill:** leave me alone

**bill:** do you HATE my happiness bev marsh

**eddie:** lets watch ghostbusters

**richie:** NO

**bill:** okay give me 20 minutes and then start heading over here

**richie:** NO

**mike:** richie what is wrong with you

**richie:** bill??? in MY tradition with eddie? it’s more likely than you think!

**bev:** oh, eddie that’s cold

**ben:** remind me to never make eddie angry because he goes straight for your life

**richie:** you cant

**richie:** the moment u press play and im not there to witness it, the fabric of space and time will rip open and swallow this miserable planet whole

**ben:** my god that was dramatic

**eddie:** shush! ok maybe im not THAT mad we’ll watch something else

Losers™

[Saturday 7:00 p.m.]

**eddie:** richie is afraid of the kool-aid man

**richie:** EDDIE THAT WAS A SECRET

**eddie:** so was the fanny pack thing bitch

**ben:** THE KOOL-AID MAN

**stan:** RICHIE, WHY?

**bev:** THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD

**richie:** GUYS STOP THAT THING IS FUCKING TERRIFYING

**richie:** AND WHY IS HE ALWAYS HANGING OUT WITH KIDS

**richie:** GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

**mike:** he does have a job, he’s the fucking kool-aid man

**richie:** I MEANT LIKE A JOB IN ACCOUNTING

**bev:** ACCOUNTING

**bill:** he’s a giant pitcher of kool-aid he couldn’t fit in the cubicles

**bill:** be practical, richie

**mike:** plus, he seems like he might be stupid

**mike:** stupid, large pitchers of kool-aid don’t just get jobs in accounting

**ben:** maybe in a perfect world

**richie:** in a perfect world, that glass bastard wouldn’t exist

**bev:** why are you so worked up about this

**eddie:** i asked him if he wanted some kool-aid

**eddie:** it unexpectedly spiraled from there

Losers™

[Monday 4:06 a.m.]

**stan:** Based on Schrodinger’s cat, anything that’s in a closed box is simultaneously dead and alive. So, I bet a closed casket funeral was a terrifying experience for Erwin Schrodinger.

**ben:** it is… os incredibly late at night

**stan:** Am I wrong?

**ben:** i mena probabl y not

Losers™

[Monday 6:35 a.m.]

**mike:** guys

**mike:** it s so fuckign early

**richie:** YEA it is why the hell are u up

**bev:** ….

**ben:** school?????

**richie:** what the fuck

**stan:** Oh my god.

**mike:** how do you. forget that you have school when we’ve literally all been texting back + forth ab it since FRIDAY

**bev:** actually every day

**eddie:** wait is richie skipping again

**bill:** imma stay mute

**mike:** probably!

Losers™

[Monday 7:15 p.m]

**richie:** oh shit sorry i fell back asleep lmao

**eddie:** bitch it is SEVEN AT NIGHT

**richie:** no it’s not

**richie:** o damn it is

**richie:** ok but im kind of garbage reincarnate what do u expect of me

**eddie:** stop no ur not

**richie:** <33

**ben:** im just pressed bc you can skip as much as u want  & talk the teachers’ heads off and STILL ace the class

**mike:** yea it’s weird as hell

**richie:** to be fair i get all F’s in conduct!

**mike:** ….. anyway

**eddie:** hey do u any of u know how to do the chem hw

**bev:** ………………… anyway

Losers™

[Tuesday 4:56 PM]

**eddie:** guys i really do HATE chemistry

**richie:** oh you know what i hate

**mike:** what

**richie:** the exoskeleton on babybel cheeses

**mike:** oh

**stan:** You don’t eat that.

**richie:** WGHB

**richie:** WHAIT

**richie:** WAIT

**richie:** WAIT NO IM SERIOUS

**richie:** YOU DOTNT?

**richie:** PLEASE

**eddie:** goodbye

eddie has left the chat.

**bill:** OMDHSJHJDKSKSN

**bev:** IM FUKCJDISJSKD

**richie:** someone add him back im surrounded by bullies

**mike:** he left because of you

**richie:** ok and??? i miss him

**richie:** ill add him back myself istg

stan added eddie to the chat.

**richie:** THX STAN

**stan:** I only did it so you would stop being soft.

**eddie:** richie???? soft????

**richie:** stop i wasnt

**mike:** i have receipts

**richie:** STOP

**bev:** he said he missed you

**eddie:** ur kidding

**mike:** nope i just sent u a screenshot

**eddie:** SKKDFKSKSXVZ

**richie:** ur all so mean

**eddie:** awh rich ily i won’t let them gang up on u anymore

**richie:** smh…. ilyt ig

Losers™

[Thursday 6:32 p.m]

**eddie:** anyone wanna hear what richie just did

**stan:** No.

**bev:** ofc

**mike:** always

**richie:** eddie please

**eddie:** so we’re having dinner @ my house tonight with my mom right?

**eddie:** and it’s spaghetti so im already internally preparing myself for all the nickname bs

**eddie:** but he deadass does not even crack one joke about my name???

**bill:** is he dying

**stan:** Big, if true.

**bev:** LMFAO STAN

**richie:** ENOUGH ALL OF U

**eddie:** ok but LISTEN thats not the end of it

**eddie:** he asks my mom to pass the parmesan

**eddie:** but he calls it…… p a s t a s u g a r.

**mike:** fuckigndhsgsj

**bev:** PASTA SUGAR

**richie:** ill block literally allof you

**richie:** im putting an end to this cyberbullying

**eddie:** my mom was like one word away from booting him out the door

**stan:** [its-what-she-deserves.gif]

**bev:** stan im cryignndh

**richie:** that’s it eddie im never walking u home after scary movie marathons again

**eddie:** WTF

**eddie:** bby come back ):

Losers™

[Friday 3:12 p.m.]

**richie:** i hate u all

**richie:** not one of you backed me today

**bev:** HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO BACK YOU

**mike:** yeah, dude

**mike:** you called the teacher a milf

**mike:** u deserve everything that happens to you as a result

**eddie:** rich… why…

**ben:** he did WHAT

**ben:** i never have the fun classes with you guys wtf

**bill:** richie ur a fuckin mess

**richie:** i don’t deserve this kind of slander to my name

**bev:** shut up, bitchie

**eddie:** BITCHIE

**mike:** BEV JNDFKJGSD

**richie:** OH MY GOD BEV

**eddie:** love u bitchie

**richie:** oh

**richie:** im stuck with this aren’t i


	2. losers r us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie: OH speaking of nut tho 
> 
> richie: who wants to do hot cocoa tonight?
> 
> eddie: why did you have to start it like that

Losers™

[Tuesday 6:45 a.m.]

 **richie:** smoking meth together can be a fun couples activity

 **bev:** explains a lot about u

 **mike:** i don’t like waking up to texts from richie

 **bill:** mike coming through w the big moods

Losers™

[Tuesday 5:16 p.m.]

 **stan:** I hug the laundry when I take it out of the dryer.

 **bill:** that’s soft

 **richie:** trying to simulate human contact?

 **richie:** try eddie’s mom that’s where i get it from

 

_stan removed richie from the chat._

 

 **bill:** oh good

 **stan:** Anyway, the towels are the best to hug.

 **bill:** BIG agree

 **bill:** georgie always takes a book and waits in the laundry room when mom dries blankets

 **stan:** Oh… my god…

 **bev:** these are the real soft hours fellas

 **mike:** i love that kid so much im gonna go into cardiac arrest

 **bill:** [georgiewaitingforwarmblankets.jpeg]

 **bill:** last week

 **stan:** God I Wish I Had Been There.

 **mike:** im convinced that stan is only friends with us to hang out w georgie

 **stan:** I would straight up die for that 10-year-old legend.

Losers™

[Thursday 3:55 p.m.]

 **eddie:** whats the past tense of yeet

 **stan:** Yeeted.

 **bill:** there is no past yeet

 **bill:** the only true yeets are the ones we witness in the moment

 **bill:** with dear friends

 **eddie:** thanks bill

 **eddie:** that was beautiful

 **mike:** can i just say that i did not enjoy seeing the word “yeeted” capitalized

 **ben:** that’s true… kinda uncomfy

 **bev:** yeeted in itself is uncomfy

 **bev:** yote

 **mike:** absolutely not

Losers™

[Friday 1:15 p.m.]

 **richie:** this is my last year as a child

 **stan:** Richie, you are 17.

 **richie:** point being????

 **richie:** when i turn 18 i cant use the “but im not an adult yet” excuse

 **eddie:** richies worst nightmare come true

 **mike:** don’t even act like u wont still be acting this way at 40

 **ben:** i have to agree w mike on that one

 **mike:** richie??? growing up???

 **bev:** what kinda fantasy land shit-

 **richie:** i didn’t come to u for u people to bully me

 **richie:** looks like i better get as much out of my system as i can before my bday

 **bill:** the idea that richie has been holding back in some way is so terrifying

Losers™

[Sunday 1:17 p.m.]

 **richie:** im bout sick of stan

 **bev:** why?

 **eddie:** hes bird watching instead of paying attention to richie

 **richie:** a cardinal sin

 **mike:** heh..

 **mike:** ~cardinal~ sin

 **ben:** ...

 **richie:** oh my god stan actually laughed at that i hate him

 **richie:** he never laughs at ME

 **stan:** I don’t like you and you’re not funny.

 **bev:** HFKDHF

 **bill:** stan scalping richie within an inch of his life will never stop being funny to me

 **eddie:** i laugh at u richie

 **richie:** yea somETIMES

 **stan:** I can assure you that you’re the only one.

mike > stan

[Sunday 1:30 p.m.]

 **mike:** i meant to tell u the other day that there are a shit ton of birds that practically invade our property if u wanna come by sometime and see if theres something u haven’t checked off ur list

 **stan:** Yeah, that sounds great! Name a time and I’m there.

 **mike:** this friday coming would be best, ill be too busy over the actual weekend

 **stan:** You actually wanna sit around and watch birds with me?

 **mike:** yeah man why not? im looking for a new hobby anyways 

**mike:** why you’re even attempting to watch them with richie is beyond me

 **stan:** Oh, I’m not. I invited Eddie and then Richie invited himself.

 **mike:** he is a pro at that

Losers™

[Monday 1:36 p.m.]

 **mike:** how stan became friends with richie will always be my life’s greatest mystery

 **stan:** It’ll always be my life’s greatest regret.

 **eddie:** oh be quiet u love richie and we all know it

 **bev:** oh? exposed?

 **eddie:** Big Time Exposed

 **eddie:** richie got punched in the face yesterday for saying things he shouldn’t as usual and stan was more concerned than i was

 **richie:** hey!

 **bev:** oh? break up?

 **ben:** HBFKJSKF

 **bill:** if u two broke up georgie would have a fucking conniption

 **richie:** well u heard the verdict eds

 **richie:** cant disappoint the kid we gotta be together forever

 **eddie:** i was planning on it

 **bev:** oh? my heart?

 **richie:** hi, hello

 **richie:** a blessed morning to you all

 **ben:** that was unexpectedly soft i feel like this is an alternate dimension

 **richie:** no hes always like this

 **stan:** Are you telling me that soft Eddie is only reserved for you? What a waste.

 **eddie:** ill waste u if u don’t quit talking smack bitch

 **richie:** HDFKSDFHKSDFHKJK

 **mike:** somehow this went from lowkey insulting richie to defending him in a matter of minutes

 **bill:** people being nice to richie in this gc is the rarest cryptid

Losers™

[Wednesday 3:47 p.m.]

 **eddie:** i wanna kill someone.

 **mike:** start with me

 **bill:** and me

 **bill:** why do u wanna kill someone tho

 **eddie:** well idk whos big fuckin idea it was to give patrick h 2.0 second block with me but it was .. hell-ish to say the least

 **mike:** oh ew ik who ur talking about…. I hate him

 **mike:** he really does remind me of patrick though omf

 **eddie:** YEA hes creepy as hell and is always sat right behind me for some reason so i cant even attempt to avoid him ughhgghsgdgdfjdk

 **eddie:** today he thought it’d be cute to lean up and lick my ear?????

 **bev:** what the fuck

 **eddie:** his breath was fucking RANK and when i elbowed him in the nose  & i started yelling mrs. bryant got mad and sent me out

 **eddie:** i cant say it was worth it tho bc he didnt even flinch he just started laughing with blood coming out of his nose like yikes

 **mike:** i just shuddered

 **mike:** he really is patrick 2.0

 **richie:** im gonna beat his ass

 **richie:** i know i sayim gonna beat alot of people’s asses with no intention to follow through but this time im literally gonna do it

 **richie:** hope that fuckin weirdo is ready to catch these hands

 **eddie:** nah rich honestly ill just handle it ig - ill talk with mr. yates tmrw  & try to switch classes or something 

**richie:** i still wanna beat his ass 

**stan:** Me too.

 **mike:** same

 **ben:** ditto

 **bev:** ditto x2

 **bill:** YES

 **eddie:** i luv u guys

 **eddie:** thank u for figuratively defending my honor

 **eddie:** especially my wonderful bf

 **richie:** I LOVE U

 **bev:** soft (‘:

Losers™

[Friday 2:00 p.m.]

 **mike:** bill i wish u didn’t leave early this morning 

**mike:** u missed the funniest thing earlier at lunch

 **bill:** wait what omg ??? i always miss everything interesting

 **mike:** stan brought a pb &j and was trying to eat it but while richie was in the middle of some elaborate story he got way too into it, yanked stan’s sandwich out of his hand, and FUCKIGN CHUCKED IT ACROSS THE ROOM 

**bill:** LMFAO

 **stan:** I still don’t even know what metaphor he could’ve been using it to assist in explaining.

 **mike:** i dont think richie knows either b/c he immediately stopped in his tracks  & started apologizing

 **mike:** it was kinda sweet actually

 **richie:** no hush

 **richie:** i can’t have u spreading these LIES about me

 **richie:** eddie needs to think im a hardass or he’ll break up with me for that jock that asked him out last year D:

 **eddie:** listen… Don’t even joke

 **stan:** Richie’s right. What was ~sweet~ was Mike giving me half his lunch. (:

 **mike:** aw omg

 **mike:** it was nothin (((:

 **bill:** oh word???

 **stan:** Shut up, Bill.

 **richie:** OH speaking of nut tho 

**richie:** who wants to do hot cocoa tonight?

 **eddie:** why did you have to start it like that

 **ben:** when were we talking about that

 **richie:** the pb &j? peaNUT butter? Duh

 **ben:** what does it have to do with hot cocoa

 **richie:** ill be honest for once in my life and say i actually dk i just needed a way to work it into convo

 **richie:** so whos down? I volunteer bill’s place bc it has georgie

 **eddie:** i second that

 **bev:** I WANNA GO!!!! I havent seen georgie in 5ever

 **ben:** im willing to overlook the whole nut thing for that kiddo, im coming

 **mike:** ME! and ill drive stan since we were gonna be doin something together anyway

 **bill:** alrighty

 **bill:** see y’all after school my lovely beautiful friends

mike > richie

[Sunday 11:30 a.m.]

 **mike:** uh i have a crush on stan i think

 **richie:** HWAT 

**richie:** MY TWO 

**richie:** MY TWO FRIEDNS IN LOVE??????

 **mike:** why do i tell u things bye 

**richie:** don’t leave me mikey ill be serious 

**richie:** what r u gonna do???

 **mike:** well, heres my plan:

 **mike:** never EVER under any circumstances… tell him 

**richie:** oh great idea losers r us that’ll get u all ur dreams 

**mike:** listen its all i got

 **richie:** what made u realize

 **richie:** i gotta know

 **mike:** idk man we were just hanging out at my house and we rarely ever hang out just the 2 of us 

**mike:** feelings just…..

 **mike:** ?happened?

 **richie:** im on it

 **mike:** on what

 **mike:** no richie

 **mike:** richie

 **mike:** if u dont answer me i can and will kill u

Losers™

[mike changed the group name to ‘losers r us’]


End file.
